? for the Men

[Ruikee]

[quote=dbmod]Because you are thinkingand not reacting to your feelings.

Correct--this is DBing--controlling your actions.

In DB lingo this is:
almost..

detach (focus on the process not the outcome)

I'm GLAD you brought this up, because actually, the opposite is true, and yet you have a good point

In DBing--we DO focus on the outcome (set you rgoals, experiment, monitor results, modify accordingly), unless it isn't helping you to focus on the outcome (which I THINK is your point). But we are looking to achieve a goal. And that goal on a large scale is to restore your relationship, and on a small goal to turn the tide around (which makes you a success--and lots of success make a marriage. For instance soem folks come here on the board, turn their marriage around and they are successful. Then they either stop there, and do not continue growing their relationship, or worse, go back to their old behaviors, and find themselves back on the brink of divorce, or actually divorced).

drop the roap

mostly used by a group of folks on the board--but the technique, and DB lingo is DO NOTHING, if you want to look it up in the materials.

Drop the rope, means do nothing? In a good way or a bad way? Is it the same thing as the LRT or something different.