To an outsider using the information you have provided here, it sure does sound that way.
Pretty heavy-handed stuff, don't you think? I mean firing somebody because they say you might be having an affair you are actually having?
I want to be clear that I understand I am looking at this from a standpoint of presumed guilt. Without going into too much detail, W has said in the past and as little as two weeks ago, that this teacher needed to be fired. I asked her why. She went on about small stuff that didn't add up to much of anything IMO. Then W's new BFF is the one to come forward with the latest complaint. She is not an employee, just a volunteer v'ball coach. My W is not an employee of the school yet inserts herself into situations where she thinks she knows better than the teachers who are there. She and the super hand out trophies, she and the super are a tag team not the super and a teacher. It was never like that before.
There has to come a time when the coincidences stop and the pattern starts.
IDU, I like the advice to handle this cautiously and with the advice of a lawyer.
Frankly, I really question if you should get involved in this issue. Either the employer is going to get the facts and take leadership, or not...I don't see why you need to be part of it by airing your family's dirty laundry on the record. I see that you're trying to do the right thing by the teacher, but you have your own worries and stuff to address. You need to focus all your energy into taking care of you and the kids. Some school politics are really screwed up and getting involved can mean taking sides and getting involved in the whole ripple effect. Perhaps I have missed some crucial elements in my reading, but this is not the time for you to rescue a situation that was not of your causing.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Hope you are doing well, buddy. Any updates on your sitch?
Thanks for the well wishes, Pigskin.
Nothing really new. Still in limbo because I am allowing myself to stay stuck. I tell myself it's because of the kids and what D will do to them. That's part of it but not all. Still scared. Haven't been able to let that go. At this point, it's really all on me, I know.
Sorry to hear that your L is really dragging her feet. I know you want to put this all behind you and get busy with the rest of your life.
I hope you and your kids have a wonderful holiday and a great Christmas. You are always in my prayers and I wish you well.
Maybe you are not stuck. It could be that you need to be in "limbo" to know where you going. Give yourself the time you need to find where you want to go.
It is a difficult decision to divorce, and if you are not ready, do not do it.
You still need to find your direction, and when you are ready, you will know.
I have so much thanks for all the help and support you have given to me over the past year. I still have a difficult time ahead, but I will be okay. You will be okay too.
Take care of you and the kids. That is what you need to do at the moment.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
It's been a few months, so I thought I'd give a short update.
I filed for D almost two weeks ago. I did file a temporary custody order to keep W from taking the kids like she has threatened to do. I gave her a couple of weeks to find somewhere to stay. If she refuses to leave, I will get an order for her to vacate. She has been nasty and combative, even though this is what she says she wants.
I have made many changes in my life. I am healthier, more active with my kids, church, I am playing in a band, again, and I try to not have such a pessimistic view of life. Things will get better and I will be okay.
Face your fears head on, trust your instincts and be true to yourself. Lessons that are hard to learn and I still struggle with, daily. We are all a work in progress. Live and learn and accept things that are out of your control.
Do not try the Little Bo-Peep method. Don't waste your time. IT WILL NOT WORK, EVER!
"Faith, hope and love.... But the greatest of these is love."
Be true to yourself and your values. Never doubt what is right and what is wrong. We will all thrive again. Never, ever doubt it.
Wow, you disappear for a few months and come back as Superman. Sad that you W has not changed, but glad that you found the strength to exit your limbo.
I'm rarely on the boards myself anymore, but check in every so often. I was wondering how things were going for you. Glad you posted an update.
Keep moving forward, like you said. Have faith in tomorrow.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
