wife preparing to leave me and kids

[blue2010]

As these scenarios change i found a phone call from OM took place yesterday. Below are the details pulled from the other forum I am on. I do not know if the intention behind the contact is for real but this is what I found out.
OK I contacted OM SPouse. She doesn't listen to well. I have asked her to let me know if there was contact. It sounds like Thursday night my W emailed OM saying she was Mad at him and all done with me and this R. Told him she was moving on.
OM told his spouse this AM that he did call my W because of the hateful email she sent. Supposedly he is remorseful over all this and since he was a friend he doesn't want to see my marriage end ( he should have thought of that before) so his end of the conversation he says was trying to convince her not to leave me. Telling her to think about it for the kids. ( it maybe nothing but now that I know when the phone call was her behavior was different, not giddy like back in the affair but docile)
Now i am given the impression that she thinks I cheated on her at some point due to something she said to OM ( I have not) So OM is still telling his spouse that he wants to fix the M he tells her when she emails or calls or texts. The problem appears to be my W so maybe I should just let her go live on her own without the kids and go dark for a while. She apparantly is done with this M, maybe she has a fantasy that the A will continue. Sorry some of this is venting.

I am not dismissing any of your tactics I have raised OM spouses awareness. She is checking some things. This is the most concerned she has sounded in a while I reminded her to not believe anything and remain suspicious. She has been very complacent just believing him. He has expressed to her over and over that he wants to save the marriage. I know it could be a line of BS and I continue to remind her of that. I encouraged her again to get on MB site.

Sadly I am at the point where It is much better in my house without her here that I am beginniing to doubt trying to save this. Although I still believe her to be fogged in. She said the other day she is just done. Done being married done trusting people, done asking for help.
I have tried to explain my wifes personality my support friend saw her one day picking kids up and my W was essentially hiding behind a tree. That is why I end up balancing divorce and being able to have good parental relations for my kids or divorced and her not communicating yes alot of speculation.

Should i ask her about the phone call now I was told about It. Of course

Is there any truth to If you let it go and it comes back it really loves you.

I truly believe in them being excellent liars and I am posting all this to share the info. Based on my wifes behavior I cannot see any action I take changing her course of action. Would you say that too is a possible outcome? That she has her mind set and that is it? I will work this sitch.

I am again wondering if I should expose let what happens happen or try to talk with her tonight in a calm fashion. I at least want to try to address her imagined issue that I cheated on her which I could do without disclosing I know about the phone call. I feel maybe that maybe driving her to leave rt now. Maybe that bad information from friends and family she got? Any suggestions?