H's MLC - finding compassion and forgiveness

[glamgirl]

SA has it so correct. Have NO expectations and be prepared for anything. One day of a good time by your h is NOT going to change anything or how he is proceeding. It will take many many many more of those good times for your h to long for the marriage back.

My best advice, don't slip back into old patterns. Keep those good days going. NO relationship talks. Just let your h see how fun you are to be with.

It took months and months of me being kind and treating my h like a good friend and then one day he called me out of the blue and asked me to meet him for dinner. I accepted. My h told our mc at the time that this was the best day he had with me in a long long time. We were in mc at the time, but when the counseling started my h said to the mc I am only here because Glam asked me and to be able to co-parent our children. Ouch that hurt, but at least he was attending.

I always had trouble though pushing the R talks and then stating how I was realing feeling to my h. Not a good thing and every time pushed him straight back into the tunnel. In many ways, I hampered his return. I was good about laying on the guilt. As I reflect back, it was NOT good but I am human and wanted so badly for my h to know what he was doing was wrong. They already know, we don't need to remind them.

My h was also severly depressed and was taking AD's. I thought he was going to take them and then miraculously come home. NOT! He quit taking them over a year ago and has resorted to diet, fitness, and natural herbs today instead. He is finally progressing in the right direction and his depression is managable at least.

Great job Mila. Now, can you do it again and again and again?