Cadet, I read through these posts and am finishing up Divorce Remedies by Michelle. I have a few questions maybe you or anyone can help me with:
1.) What is detachment and the stages? Is this forgetting about the memories -- this has been my hardest obstacle in moving on.
2.) What do you do if you are seperated - H is having MLC and you stop initating contact but he emails you every day like you are best friends (he has stated all he wants us to be is best friends) I feel like by us chatting like the old days doesnt help him miss me or the babies. But if I go dark do I only answer emails about the babies and finances? My fear is the last two months we were not communicating when he left and that may have contributed to him leaving
3.) He wants to spend Christmas with me and my family (we have big parties). We have not discussed the future (when he left all he would talk about is D) is it fair for him to be apart of that give me the babies and my family a false sense of hope when to his friends he is still talking divorce? Do I ask him if things have changed and it they havent tell him I love him but its too hard for him to be at the holidays when he doesnt want to work on the R?
4.) He is only seeing the babies one time a week for an hour or two -- this was a very dotting father and everytime I tell him we need to get on a visitation schedule he ignores me
I am seeing an attorney on Monday. I need to know if I should draw up seperation papers or keep things status qou - he is not contributing finacially at all to me or the babies. I am now working two jobs borrowing money from family while he "parties"
Please someone help with all of these questions - I need some help from experience....
