You may miss what you had but I see a woman who is beginning to get her power back. Your therapy is working at least subconsciously. You are safe in your dreams to vent the anger you haven't allowed yourself to feel. Believe me, you are angry and it needs to come out.
You handled the phone call as well as you could since it caught you off guard. His son is sick and need to go to the Dr. You do not need to "clear" it with him. Go back to the parenting plan examples. Primary parent(you) gets to call those shots unless it's life and death. Next time, don't engage at all. Just end the call. You've filed legal papers. Let your L handle it. Refer your H to him. Your H has already proven that he cannot be trusted to be fair to you.
As far as being alone tonight, find a bookstore with late hours, a late night movie, all night coffee shop. Like your therapist said, try something different. Don't sit around stewing on it.
This was a real break through tonight, Mystik. I am so proud of you!!!
