MLC or just an EA?

[BeingMe]

Is this six months since OW rejected him? You know, if he keeps going back to her and "ending" it, she may think he was stalking her and using his position and the help he gave her as a way to harrass her. She may feel obligated to him, rather than interested, even as a friend. You could point that out. Do you think he's becoming obsessive about her because she dumped him?

I do think it's time for boundaries. I was told that I should not take H back because of the children ... they will know (kids just seem to figure out these things) and feel guilty if it still doesn't work out. It must be because you want him or he wants you or in a perfect world, you want each other.

I feel its finally time to set boundaries. I don't know if I could , but I want to tell him that if he steps out of the house, thats it. We are done. The premise is: if OW told him she wanted him, would he go with her and leave us? If not, then he comes back to us? I don't want that to be his decision pount. he has to decide by himself if he wants our family or not.

I agree, but you have to mean it. If he leaves, you must not take him back, for at least 6 months. He has to earn his way back into the home. He keeps on with wanting to "finish", but it never ends. You could say, "listen H, D11 and I want you to decide now what you want. If you are still undecided about wanting us, then I think it's time for us to move on without you. We still love you, but this has gone on too long, and we need to get on with our lives. But, if you choose us, then I never want to hear about OW ever again. We will have to work on our M for real, do the steps we need to take as a family and as a couple that will bring about our happiness." Or words to that effect.

If D11 wasn't there, what would you do? I know what I would do, but that ship sailed and it's too late for me.

Have a good weekend.