Well, my ex didn't leave for an affair partner - more for the IDEA of one (he'd had an affair a few years prior). He bought his duplex by the beach and eventually found a much younger Asian girlfriend. We happened to talk on the phone last night - first time in a long time. He was talking about how much work his place had needed and about getting it tented for termites (the place is RIDDLED with termite damage).
He looked awful for a long while after he left, but looks a little better now. I know he suffers a lot of guilt. I think he would like to "still be friends", and I am polite, but frankly - he LOST the right to have me as his sounding board/ best friend when he divorced me!!! I know he's curious about MY life but I tell him next to nothing. He does know that I've learned to play the drums and went on tour with my professional musician friend last September and I don't think he can quite wrap his mind around it!
and I don't think he can quite wrap his mind around it!