Thank you for your comments and time; much appreciated. My wife continues to tell me to work on myself and to do the things I want to do; maybe I should start listening to her. Simply put, I feel guiltily for doing anything on my own, whether it's work related, or purely for relaxation. I think I have a martyr complex (wife's observation). I also wonder if the guilt I feel about giving up my daughter drives me to think of others before myself. I feel like a worm for putting my wife through the adoption, and I never dealt with the situation, except through avoidance and anger; not productive.
I screwed up again today by reacting emotionally to a situation, vice taking a moment to think before speaking. My wife made an observation about how I dealt with a potential client. I took her remarks the wrong way and reacted with my ego, vice with my brain; I am a slow learner. She was right, and I was wrong, so another lesson learned the hard way.
I understand that I alone am responsible for my actions and how I react to any given situation. I have read the Five Love Languages, and found them helpful, so thanks for that advice.
Maybe I could gain insight from understanding how it feels to live with an angry person. I know I give off negative energy, and I don't hide my emotions well because I show everything on my face.
I have a wonderful wife, a talented son and a great life. Why is anger such a prevalent factor in how I communicate?
