Mine: ex married his affair partner a little over 2 years after the divorce was final. Still living in denial that he did anything wrong. Misses the kids but fails to see how he did that to himself. Raising 2 kids that aren't his while he is a minimal presence in his own kids lives.
I need something...sea breeze please.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
My x is living happily ever after; proposed to the live-in affair partner just a few weeks ago, 2.5 years after the D was final and they bought a house together. His parents, the last hold-outs, finally relented and spent Thanksgiving together with his new family and his brothers and sisters.
He is still very involved in our children's lives, even though he lives full-time with her 4 girls.
I know in my M wife was complaining about certain things. I would think about what she was saying and if I thought it was true I'd try and change it. Yet, no matter what I changed there would always be something else...little did I know there was someone else, so it really made no difference what I did, but at least I know that I did what I could.
Well, my ex didn't leave for an affair partner - more for the IDEA of one (he'd had an affair a few years prior). He bought his duplex by the beach and eventually found a much younger Asian girlfriend. We happened to talk on the phone last night - first time in a long time. He was talking about how much work his place had needed and about getting it tented for termites (the place is RIDDLED with termite damage).
He looked awful for a long while after he left, but looks a little better now. I know he suffers a lot of guilt. I think he would like to "still be friends", and I am polite, but frankly - he LOST the right to have me as his sounding board/ best friend when he divorced me!!! I know he's curious about MY life but I tell him next to nothing. He does know that I've learned to play the drums and went on tour with my professional musician friend last September and I don't think he can quite wrap his mind around it!
Mine married the OW two weeks after our divorce was final, less than 18 months after he first dropped the bomb. He is still active in the kids lives, but they see the hypocrisy of his life (he and new mrs. x preach christianity) and the kids feel short-changed by him. And the ironic part is I hear that he complains about the new wife the same way he complained about me....new marriage, same old problems.....hmm maybe cuz you didn't do anything to change YOU!!! So he threw away his family only to end up in the same situation....just more money.
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
My XH bought a $600,000 house with his affair partner only 2 weeks after our divorce was final. Good for them; all the material crap will never buy that lost and broken man any happiness.
Now...let me tell you about ME!! Doing great, amazing new friends in my life I could only ever have dreamed about. SOOO busy this holiday season running around doing things I forgot I loved.
In 2011 I will complete 2 triathlons and turn 50 in the best shape of my life.
I'm just feeling someone special will also enter my life in 2011 and I can't wait...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
and I don't think he can quite wrap his mind around it!