Ok. Confusion here. I know Coach directed this toward the men but could easily be a question for the women. See - I'm on the fence right now. More of the same for me would be continuing to let H live here while I know he is in contact with his ex-wife. But doesn't DR say to just put that kind of stuff on the back-burner? Not mention the OW to your H? Just get on with life and give them space that way while GAL? So dbmod - when you say "the worst thing you can do is more of the same", would you then suggest I start setting the boundaries that are suggested above?? I have tried this but wasn't ready - I did in in complete anger and without thinking it over enough. I was not organized. I was all over the place. What would be the correct thing to say to H in my situation?! _________________________
Angry or composed
Emotional or decisive in your actions based on your beliefs, values and goals.
Let your H disrespect you and your marriage or let him know his behavior is unacceptable in your marriage and what the consequences are of him continuing this behavior (his choice).
more of the same or loving yourself
The choice is all yours on what you do. You control your thoughts, actions and feelings. Take all the pressure off him, stop chasing him, let him choose and you take care of yourself. You like living like this? You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
