My wife is the same unhappy person she was when I left. My absence has not made her life any better. It helps me realize that largely, I was not the problem. I think somehow in our heads there's a part of us that buys into their bs and feels maybe, just maybe we played a large part in their unhappiness.
Originally Posted By: AtTheEnd?
I can relate. I know that I'm not the cause of her stress. I've been gone for a while. The problem resides within the WAS. They won't get it until they look internally, but unfortunately that's one of the hardest things anyone could ever do.
That isn't to say we didn't contribute to the problems in the relationship, but we are not completely to blame for the situation.
My wife seems to think the D will be a cure-all.
You both make excellent points. It's true. My stbx constantly said he was unhappy before I left, even a few days before I left he said he "couldn't remember the last time" he had been happy. He said that in August of 09. Just last week he was saying he's not happy. He always said he needed "peace" and he said he hasn't found it yet.
So yes, it takes two to contribute to the demise of a M, that much is true. But until you start owning your half, you will get nowhere fast. And it seems a lot of these folks say they are unhappy and later realize (hopefully), it wasn't the M that made them unhappy, it was something within them.
