I hear you about them insisting they're not depressed, in MLC, etc, and that the OP is a magic bullet--I got all that script as well. But you know that a R which begins in deceit, lies, guilt, etc, can never be the healthy, model R which he craves, however much they try to convince themselves (and you) otherwise.
Moreover, you can't fool a depression into going away--for a while the endorphins make the new R feel like an antidote to earlier problems, but once these wear off, the MLCer realizes that he's making the same mistakes in his new R, that all the old negative feelings are coming back. And this generally does happen within the new R (though some stubborn MLCers just keep cycling with new women).
What I wanted to add to my earlier comments is that, because of unresolved issues from childhood/young adulthood, the depressed person feels like a victim. He feels this so strongly that he becomes convinced that his spouse MUST be victimizing him, and rationalizes accordingly.
You know, he DID do you a favour by dumping you. You have thrived as a result, and there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you are benefitting from being forced to address aspects of your life which weren't working. Additionally, the growth you've been forced to make will serve you well in any future R, including with your H, if that should happen. Likewise, your H will never be a complete adult unless he tackles his demons. Try to focus on these positives, rather than on the negatives you've given above (not easy, I know!!).
