For the record, WAW tells me that there is no OM. I know better; I can feel his presence between us.
Yes, ScaredinCanada, my wife is "CakeEating." I have to remind myself, however, that her affair is not the cause of our marriage problems; it is merely a symptom of years of being unhappy and lonely. When she left our marriage, she had no intention of coming back. OM is nothing more than a cheap band-aid; when it gets wet, it will fall off on its own.
One never knows for sure, but I believe that if I were to limit contact or go dark, I would probably have the opposite results from others here. I feel that putting distance between us, would only serve to chase her away. She needs time to discover and accept the fact that we may still have a future together.
When she came for the dogs this morning, I told her that I was considering my plans for Christmas. Friends of mine have invited me to spend the holidays with them in a small beach town where they have a vacation house. I told my wife that I was considering their offer, but I needed to consult with her regarding the dogs. I asked her if she could take full responsibility for them that week?
If so, we may have struck some kind of balance in our friendship that will help us build trust. If what we have is an open marriage, then I should add a girlfriend to the mix. Rather than a threesome, we can have a foursome. Who knows? I'm learning that I can accept different outcomes that I hadn't considered possible only a few month ago.
