So, do you have to agree to that? Sounds like he is still not wanting to make a decision...learn from me...limbo land [censored]
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
So, I contact my L to discuss this. Essentially he says it could be his L doing this (50% likely) bc she has things that are conflicting with this date. Or, it could be H (50%)...
I said I know that H has commitments in FL in Jan, maybe this could be the reason, but asked if he even needs to go to pretrial and he tells me 'no'. Neither of us do. So what is the hold-up? I told L not to respond until I have a chance to contact H to find out.
My L is freakin awesome BTW, as I have said before. He is not at all a creepy kind of guy, just FYI before I read the next part... L says: "I know this may be a little strange coming from a L but I have been doing this 35 years. Often I can sit across the room and see why someone is getting divorced. In your case, it keeps bothering me trying to figure out why he wants to divorce you. I mean, what the f***, I mean what the heck is he thinking?" I have been LMAO since he said that Essentially, L told me that if they ask for an adjournment, they will get it. He said this judge won't think twice about it. And, he said it will probably be another month. Ugh. I am torn. Yes I want to fight for my marriage but I don't want to fail my boards either. Limo land does effing suck!!!
So, as promised, I texted re: getting my things... "Heading out to the house in about 1 hr. May take today and tomorrow. I think we should talk about the adjournment. Maybe coffee or something?"
H: "I am actually at the house sick. Didn't get anything together for you. sorry"
Me: "OK. I will stop tomorrow. No need to get anything together for me- just if you find random things (around the house). Hope you feel better.
No response. Nada. Zilch. Does he really think I am still coming and gonna hang out with him? He knew I would be coming over and didn't bother to tell me he would be there? He had told me I didn't need to let him know when I was coming just to go whenever I wanted. This man hasn't taken a day off of work for illness since I met him. Something here is fishy.
Sure hope he isn't still sick tomorrow It was tough not to ask what was wrong and if I could bring him something but that is about the last thing he deserves at this point.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Honestly, I think self-aware husbands are even harder to deal with. My H diagnosed himself with MLC even before I researched what it was. Sometimes I feel he is ahead of me in assessing what how he reacts to what I do, Like when he told me that I should not be afraid to be strong and independent, as it did not mean he would leave me, he may even want to stay more with me. That was 3 weeks ago. Weird, as though he read DR book too. NOW he says he is going insane.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
E, the divorce your L draws up is just a piece of paper. It is the rest of this stuff that may get in the way. Worry about detaching and taking care of yourself. That will help you with your boards much more than what is happening with the D papers or your H. If you can, maybe you can push the adjournment far enough away that it not interfering with your boards.
As far as your H deciding to stay home sick, I agree that it does sound fishy. Like 25 says though, IF he wants back, he will let you know. Maybe he is just sticking a toe in the water since he hasn't had much contact for a while.
Yep, it is the 'stuff' and the finality of the D that I am worried will get in the way. I think I am about as detached as I can be at the moment. The final paper acknowledging the D is going to affect me no matter when in happens.
That is where I struggle.
If it is going to happen no matter what, by all means, have it done and over. If there is a chance of things working out, I can always take boards again and can get a job without passing.
If anyone is not using their crystal ball right now, may I borrow it?
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
He does not have the nerve to even talk to me. Am I really that scary? He is so afraid of the truth. I am so angry today. I have so many awful words for him.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
It was tough not to ask what was wrong and if I could bring him something but that is about the last thing he deserves at this point.
