First, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me! You are right, our situations sound frighteningly similar.
No kids. He says he is thinking about MC. He's been thinking for 2 months and says that he is not comfortable talking to strangers. I have not reached out to arrange IC, but I realize more and more each day I should. I just don't want him to know about it because I don't want him to think that I am struggling as much as I am.
I realize that I do need to get busier. I'm obsessed with this situation and can barely function. I go out and do things, but at this point its just mechanics. I just am having such difficulty detaching. Your story, though, has given me hope that even in my situation, I have a chance of finding my new normal.
I am particularly intrigued that you looked at that summer as one of your best. How can that be? Also, how did you forgive? One of the bigger things that I am scared about is that if he does change his mind, I will be unable to trust him again. I really am so dumbfounded that we went straight to talks about separation and divorce and not stopped at "I have a problem and we need to work on this." I really feel like a boundary was crossed that should have never been. Now I know not to say that to him again (wish I had DB before I opened my big fat mouth the first time), but I really want to know how people deal with that. I don't mean to sound innocent as I clearly am the one who started the issues. It's just one of those things I think about...
Anyway, thanks so much for the much needed advice. I really do have some work to do on myself. I really do need to find my place in this new world I've found myself in.
