It hurts, BAD! I feel it too as my W told me about a month ago, "we are no longer a couple." this after 21 years together... Remember that your husband is not your husband right now. He is someone you don't know. In fact, if you met him today as he is now you would think he's a creep, right?
This is hard but you WILL get through this. We all will!
Remember that a happy ending does not mean staying married. A happy ending is a happy life. And only you can provide yourself with a happy life. With or without him. YOU control your life, he does not.
I understand the fear. I have to too. But remember this...
"The person that cares the least has the most control."
Try and relax, fake being happy, go out (even to a movie by yourself, I've done it twice). He will respond. My W accused me of an A the two times I went out. Any reaction is good. It means that their thinking about things. Keep him guessing and off balance. It does work. Once you get your self-esteem back it will be him that has the fear (fear of losing you) and then you will start to rebuild.
And if he does not change his mind, YOU will be in a better place for YOU!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
