You seem to be doing an awful lot of work protecting her from having to deal with number of things - discussing what happened; having to fall on her own with her problems.
FMV, I think protection is a good word to describe what I often do. I don't think I'm protecting her; I think I'm protecting myself. It's that old pattern of conflict avoidance--particularly over long-standing problems (finances, smoking in the house, sex). It's easier to deal with dancing conflict. It's harder to change habits and relational patterns that have coasted for years.
As far as a discussion about what happened, i don't need to hear the story of her EA/PA. I want to know what's on her mind, or was on her mind. This is difficult for her, as I've mentioned. She speaks to it indirectly.
I need to remember that things have changed significantly from a year ago. A year ago my W joined me at the new dance studio I found. It was awkward having her there. I didn't feel like a couple. It was awkward being in public with her at dance venues, knowing that our problems were played out in public , to some extent. People ask me about the status of our R, on an ongoing basis, as our presence as a couple is still uncertain to some people.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
