On the Verge of Who Knows What

[SDFoundGirl]

Get control of yourself. Now. Your H has told you what the problem is, and you continue to do the same things that annoy him.

Stop all R talk. All of it. No more complaining, no more moaning, no more trying to get him to see your point of view. It only pushes him away because HE NO LONGER CARES about your point of view. It has been badly delivered until the point where he's ceased caring.

I know this is harsh, but having been the emotional, nagging wife myself, I not only have lived the problem, I have also lived the solution.

Get into IC, and start working on yourself. Talk to your doctor and consider going on ADs to help you manage your emotions. They won't make you happy, they'll put a floor under your feet so you can do the hard work of therapy.

Start doing things you like and that make you happy ON YOUR OWN OR WITH FRIENDS. Your H can't make you happy...NO ONE can make you happy EXCEPT YOU. Stop looking to him to fill you up. That makes the other person feel as if they are being sucked dry by an emotional vampire. It's repulsive. Again, I know this, because I had those traits myself.

No excuses. You CAN do this. It will be hard, and it will be different, but at the end of it all, you will be a lot healthier and a much better partner. It is the one chance you have to save your M.

I have no doubts your H has his issues too, but since the only person you have any control over is you, you have to let that go. At some point in the future he MIGHT be willing to hear what you have to say and take a look at himself, but that's a long way off. He definitely won't be receptive if you don't handle your own business.

Now, what are your plans to take care of yourself, GAL, and get healthy? List them here.

If you feel like you want to talk to your H about the R or whatever else, COME HERE AND WRITE IT AND THEN WAIT 48-HOURS BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING TO HIM. If it's still the right thing to do/say after 48 hours, then go ahead. Most of the time once you are away from the emotion of it, you see that it would be detrimental.

SD