Overall, things are good but there are definitely some difficult moments. We are still working on helping me to feel relaxed about sexual interactions. H is doing a tremendous job in his efforts to be patient and has also been a more involved partner in the home and family arena. History has conditioned me to feel leary of his ability to maintian the role of patient and supportive partner. I find myself falling into old patterns where my actions are more focused on making sure that he gets the attention and relief that he needs, but not focusing much on myself and finding or feeling motiviated by my own sexual self. I know that it will require continued concerted effort to get us past this and it is harder than I envisioned.
Also, when we recently started this renewed effort to change our relationship, I recognized very quickly that we both have forgotten how to be light and playful and enjoy foreplay in our sexual relationship - I'm good for a short while and then don't know what to do; he accustomed himself to go directly for intercourse. In general, we are both affectionate sharing hugs,kisses and ligth touches, but we lost the interactions that lie in-between casual affection and intercourse. In retrospect, it was pretty easy to let it slip away, but it is taking considerable effort to rebuild.
