Punchy, your heart can take MUCH MORE then mine...
My wife had an EA and I set that boundary right away. I WILL NOT and CAN NOT allow OM in my marriage. I told her,
"end it or move out".
I also told her,
"if you refuse to end it AND you refuse to move out I will file D right away."
And as far as I can tell, they have not communicated in over a month. I'm sure she misses OM and I'm sure that she wants to see him but that is to bad... I don't feel bad for her at all. It is completely her fault that she feels this loss. She should not have allowed herself to get in a position where the loss of another person could be felt... Everyone on this board is making changes for the things THEY did wrong in their marriage but our S also did much wrong. We have to remember that. And they are doing wrong now... Probably the MOST WRONG!!!
Your W is making the choice to do destructive things to the marriage, not you! I'm sorry to have such a hard line on this but allowing an A to continue after exposed is absolutly unacceptable. Ultimate disrespect! Your W needs to end it or leave the house. Remember, this is still HER choice. All she has to do is make the decision. She makes the decision, and you all live with the decision she makes. But at least you have your dignity and respect.
One thing is for sure. I would not respect my wife if she allowed me to continue an EA/PA after exposed and I am certain that she would not respect me if I allowed it.
Would you?
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
