It does seems to be looking that way for my H right now.
************* Journaling yet again… Last night H asked me to get D from daycare. He said he could still make it before the daycare closed, but he knew I liked to get the extra time with D instead of letting her sit at daycare just up the street from me. He would come get her as soon as he could.
He sounded frazzled, so I asked if he was ok. Said he had had a really bad day. His boss had yelled at him as soon as he walked in and he had to deal with the building inspector and the fire marshal all day. He was almost 3 hours late getting out.
He went on to say his sister had been at his mom & dad’s place with her kids waiting for him to get off for a couple hours. Dinner was waiting and it would be almost time for his sister to leave by the time he got there with D. He was kind of rambling. Also said he just didn’t want to have another night of D crying, and he didn’t know what to do.
I wanted to see D, but I also want to do as much as I can to give her little world some predictability. I offered to pick her up and take her straight to his parent’s house. H has not wanted me over for their dinner night, so I didn’t ask to stay. Instead I told him I had some errands to run, and it wasn’t out of my way.
He seemed to hesitate, so I told him I told him it was his choice. If he didn’t WANT me to drop her at his parent’s it was fine, but he had to let me know. He said he was sorry he was just so frazzled, thanked me, and said that would help out a lot.
I picked D up, turned off the radio, and just chatted with her the whole drive. Also went over the ‘new plan’ several times (especially my exit) till she seemed ok with everything.
Drop off went great. I got to say a quick ‘hi’ to everyone, but didn’t ask to stay. H thanked me several times and gave me a couple hugs. Asked about my errands and looked kind of confused and sad. I left feeling pretty good and D didn’t cry at all when I left. The whole thing went well as far as I was concerned. D even sounded happy when I called for goodnights.
There was one very interesting note on the evening. While I was there, I overheard H talking with his younger sister. Younger SIL’s H is half-owner of the restaurants my H will be working for. The other half-owner is the head chef and the one who yelled at H this morning.
Basically, H was complaining about chef/owner always being on his case. When H got in that morning chef/owner demanded to know why he was there. He then chewed H out for being in the back of the restaurant talking to the 2 hostesses the other night. H claimed he was telling them to get back to work. H said that chef/owner was completely unjustified in yelling at him. (Knowing what a chatty flirt my H can be, I think there is another side to that story, but it’s just a hunch.)
SIL said that is just how chef/owner is, nothing personal. He is a bit of a bully and likes to yell and get his way with everyone. I think that she is right, but I also think there is more to it.
H is supposed to be managing the new location when it opens, but I noticed the web site lists BIL as the manager, not H. H’s name isn’t anywhere on there. Further, H generally seems out of the loop on plans for the opening and other key issues. Because of my job, I also know that all orders are going through the main location and there are no plans for that to change either.
All that adds up to H having much less responsibility and control than he has told me he would have. He tries to paint a picture about how great things are going, but it just doesn’t fit.
It sounds to me like chef/owner doesn’t like or respect H at all. Maybe he is finding out he hired one person but got someone very different. Back when H was hired on he was a hard working and dependable family man. But now?
Well… if H is anything at his job like he has been to me, then now is a whole different story.
He told me once that he felt this was his ‘last opportunity to grow up and be a success’ and that he had to make this work.
I’m working hard to let go on this. It’s just like watching a train wreck in slow-motion. Even though I know there is nothing I can or should do, I still worry about him.
