Can I Get My Wife Back

[TimeHeals]

Yeah, she's wondering where you are. That's the attachment thing. So it is interesting. She isn't as detached as she thought she was.

The question I have for you after going back and reading some of your back story is this:

What are your principles, and what are your boundaries?

EAs, PAs, addictive and possibly controling behaviors indicate a few things. One, you aren't considering the consequences of some behaviors and the likely outcomes of things you do. How good are you at planning generally speaking? Do you have a regular fitness rountine, and who generally makes plans, sends out the Xmas cards and all of that in your M?

The other thing is indicated is weak boundaries. You don't just have emotional or physical affairs. You put yourself in a position and you share intimate details of your life with members of the opposite sex other than your wife and immediate family first. It's not an accident.

A good boundary is that "it's not OK to share intimate details of my life with members of the opposite sex other than my spouse or immediate family members".

Trying to force somebody else do or think what you want them to do or think is also a case of weak personal boundaries (as is letting somebody else force you to do or pretend to think like they do). We're all different in tiny ways, and it's the differences that make us interesting.

It's OK to have an opinion, but it's also OK for your spouse to have one that is different, and if you are throwing tantrums, witholding affection, calling them names and such when you don't get your way, then you are letting your emotions lead, and that will get you into trouble.

It's OK to feel things, but... don't do things just because you feel something. Sit down and figure out what your core values are.

What would you do if God himself were following you around judging your actions? How would you like others to see you? Let that more objective view guide your actions.