Cutting the rope

[Sad_but_happy]

This sitch just infuriates me. I understand that the goal is to save the marriage and I am completely on board with that. But having a spouse that is seeing other people IS NO LONGER A SPOUSE. It is the ultimate in disrespect. I set the following boundary with my W:

I understand that you are not in love the way you once were. But if you continue the EA then you need to leave the house. And I will proceed to file for D that same day. We can work on building intimacy and love in your time line and I will give you space but I WILL NOT live in a marriage of 3 people.

She then agreed to end the EA and I believe they have not contacted one another since 11/8/2010. Things are still not perfect but at least she is respecting that boundary and things HAVE gotten better MUCH since I will not tolerate her giving her emotional side to OM. She CAN NOT connect with me if she has OM to connect with.

She CAN NOT and WILL NOT have all the benefits of ME (like taking care of her financially) AND all the benefits of enjoying the excitement of "new love" which if we are all honest with one another we ALL WOULD LIKE to feel, but realize that the warmth and security of a long-term commitment are far more rewarding than are EA's and PA's in which people selfishly "live in the moment".

Moral of the story... If there is OM, then there is no "me" in any way, shape or form...

Just me opinion...