H returned one of the presents unopened, mixed in with a bag of the kids' clothes, so I didn't see it right away. I had to call him about the kids tonight, and mentioned that I had found the present, that it was also from the kids, that I thought it petty that he could not accept a gift given with no strings, and that I thought that, as grownups, we need to actually tell each other when there is a problem rather than be so sneaky. I told him it was not a ploy to get him back, as he did not treat me well before he left and has continued the same bad behaviors since we've been separated.
He told me that the present was inappropriate, and that I needed to let go. He hemmed and hawed and finally brought up the emails and said that I was obviously spending too much time thinking about him(?!?) and that I was "dragging us back when we need to move forward". I asked him to stop trying to read my mind and discern my motives/feelings (this is getting to be a familiar refrain).
There were a lot of silences on the phone - I was trying to figure out what to say in a few instances, and I don't know if he was just waiting me out or if he had something to say too. I am always the one to hang up.
I sent the whole appreciation list to him in one big email after the phone call. I found it interesting that he said "dragging US back"; I guess they were getting to him a little. That was pretty much the last of my "plan".
