TAMF,

The only thing I can think to add to this is

NO REGRETS = PEACE

We all come here and learn about this MLC thing. We find

they are in a fog etc., etc. Now we know too much about what

really might be happening and that is not the way most

separations/divorces go IMHO.

So we find ourselves in a spot where if you start a new

relationship you are living the life of your MLC'r. (I am sure

I will catch someones 2x4 on this and I can live with that).

You find yourself in a place you may regret you have found.

Just throwing it out there,

How do you know you are not just medicating the pain?

I realize everyone will come to a point where they just know

they are done and don't care about the consequences if our

wayward MLC'r starts to come around. (What a mess that

would be if they were not being honest with themselves about

being done).

This stuff takes years in most cases. I am not telling you to

wait it out. You will really know when you really know.

WS

I don't see that in your posts yet. Maybe I don't know what

that should look like.

I look back over the last year or so and am now glad I did not

start anything new.

1. My W was hoping I would do just that and then her guilt would

be wiped out.

2. I know now it would have been medicating pain up to this point

in my journey.

Am I stuck? Maybe I am but I feel good about my choices and I

didn't hurt anybody.

Again No Regrets = Peace

I read somewhere that it takes 1 month of healing after divorce

for every year of marriage to be ready for a new R.

Don't know if that will work for you or me.

I share the same frustrations that you stated earlier few posts

back.

I also have children who are watching me closely.

They do not know about the OM at this point.

I don't want to be first in that race in their minds.


SO......

With all of that said, that is the way it is going for me

and the reason I am sharing that to you is this is what I

have learned through this time of no regrets.

BTW, I truly believe God HAS helped me through this.

I think you are on the right track working through Him.

Whatever you decide is for you.

How do I convey this message to you without you feeling guilty or

thinking that I am judgmental for your sitch?

I think you will just have to take my word for it.

This really could be a touchy subject and I almost deleted the

whole thing but today I am going to live dangerously and take

the chance.

The truth is you do deserve to be happy as you have posted and

only you will know if you have made the right decision.