Thanks for your response. I have actually been following your threads because we seem to be like minded in our pursuit - trying to stay loving through it all.
I did read the love dare and continue to read certain passages that help keep me centered. I pray to God daily for clarity. I guess for as many success stories there are using the "detach lovingly" there are stories where people on this forum did it for years and while they did improve themselves and are now content, their marriage did not make it. I guess I'm just in a negative space right now - focusing too much on things. H's OW is his ex-wife who lives one hour away and it is a PA/EA. He keeps me in total darkness regarding her. Sometimes I feel the only way I'm going to save the marriage is to ask him to leave and hope that by doing this, he will open his eyes. Other times I try to keep in mind "Carol" who is highlighted in the DR book -similar sitch as mine but she detached while her H was at home and he decided he wanted to work on the M after 6-7 months. My sitch has been going on for almost 4 months.
M9+ T 11+ Me42 H44 2 kids under 5 IlYBNILWY -3/10 A discovered late 8/10 H moved out early 9/10 - back two weeks later "Taking a Break" - H moves out 1/2/10
