The difference 3 months has made in my life

[TAMF]

I have had long conversations with a few of you over the last few days, read the posts by my friends on this site - all of you basically saying the same thing (stop - now. :-)) And you are all correct. I probably am not ready to start something (even casually) with someone else just to distract myself from my H.

I know a couple of things:

1. In the last 5 months, I have learned that what has happened to my M is not my fault. I can look back on my M and realize that there are things I could have done better or differently, and I have worked on those things for myself AND for my H. I would be lying if I said otherwise.

2. I really love him enough to let him go. I will always love him, we will always be friends, but I can let him move on.

3. There is no hope for us to R if he feels he has to CHOOSE between the OW and his family. The relationship with the OW would have die because HE wanted to end it. I don't want him if he still wants her but feels like this is the "right thing to do". I deserve more than that.

4. I am a good person, loving, forgiving, funny, smart, not bad to look at :-)and I deserve to be happy. I am happy - with moments of sadness. But those moments of sadness go away quickly now.

5. I am tired of thinking about my H all of the time. I am done with it. This I know today for the first time I am ready to detach simply because I don't want to do it anymore.

So whether or not I see this other guy in my future, I don't know. I won't initiate anything. I will put it in "Fate's Hands". But I promise not to do anything if I am not ready.

God will help me through this.