ok dbmod, but ihave relaxed it. I have even made sure she got to her visits with the kids. I let her stay at my home as she had no money and no car to take them anywhere. If i let her have christmas she is getting the family life she gave up and she just runs back to OM and the single life. What does this do. It causes me heart ache, it gives her a dose of family life so she can deal with the loss and she has no committments.
on another note, her father hasnt been apart of her life for a long time last time they spoke was 9 years ago. He was an alcoholic and then a criminal etc. He called on Monday to wish her a happy birthday. Her mom told him what was going on and how to contact her. He was very upset she has chosen this path, he really wanted to reconnect with his family.
He has been in a rehabilitaion facility for 3 years and the last year at a rehab centre. He want to get back some of what he has lost.
Family is very important to me, my wife knows that, so much she made a point of calling me and yelling at me about not letting him anywhere near the kids. I did fight back. She left the kids with me, she should know i would not put them in a harmful situation. This man never did anything to my Wife other than be non existant in her life.
So now we are fighting about letting him prove he is sober and clean and if he will be able to be a grandfather to the kids. I told her that he has a long way to go before i would let him near the kids, even my mother in law (his ex wife) says he deserves a chance. My wife told me that if i do this, she will never forgive me. so what do i do?
I told her that if she is honest with herself, if she talks to him and gives him a chance to prove he deserves to be in the families life, i will follow her lead. I did through in that it would be nice to have him over for a BBQ in the summer. So hopefully she got that this wouldnt be a quick thing and i will follow her lead on it.
So i guess i need some validation that i did the right thing in this case, i did apologize for fighting with her as well. trying to keep my anger in check, but she has no cell and when OM name show up on my phone it digs into me pretty hard.
