Why did you allow your parents to interfere in your M? [/quote]
She moved into my parents house when we were 19ish, and I struggled to tell my parents when they were wrong --- because they were my parents (their house/their rules).
I'm the oldest child in my family and as a result I've always felt additonal responsibility to my parents. I don't want to let them down, disappoint them or for them not to be proud of me. It's not something I'm trying to do it's just a subconcious thing that I have trouble dealing with. I've never been able to "stand up to them" to disagree with them or do something that I felt would be disappointing to them.
So I end up being the middle man, trying to make my W feel ok about things and the same with my parents. I understand this is wrong but I've struggled my entire life with this and unfortunately it's effected my M.
Like I said before I finally sat down with them a couple weeks ago and told them about the problem I have and how it's effected my M. I told them that was going to change and it was something I needed to address regardless of my current sitch.
My W says I'm affraid of my parents, but I don't believe I am. I think I have been conditioned to think the way I do and obviously it's not healthy for me or my W.
I have matured and I've finally started dealing with the issues in my life so I can be a better, positive and thoughtful person that can be counted on it all situations.
I'm talking to my IC about this, and she said that feeling is normal for the oldest child but that mine appears to a bigger issue than most.
I can't even completely explain it, I've acknowledged with myself at times that it's wrong and I needed to deal with it, but I just never did.
I have now, and I understand I have to continue to work on it as similar to my M it won't be fixed over night.
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
