Moving Forward

[gutwrenching]

Lost-
Wow, thank you, that was the nicest thing someone has said to me in a while and it struck a cord with me today because of the spew I heard from W this morning (and for the record, I called her out on it, told her that look and comment, nastiest I've seen and heard in months and months was completely uncalled for, I asked a simple question).

I am a big believer in life in general, of looking back and analyzing things, figuring out what you could do better next time...and I guess I just tend to focus on all my screw ups and how I could have handled it better.

This is so sad. It was so good for a few months...that is what still haunts me and I still have trouble letting go of all the fear, I have let go of some, but not all.

I am asking God to help me, to give me strenght, clarity and direction. It is part of the reason I have held off from more of a Sandi like technique the last couple of days, because I am hoping He shows me the way clearly.

I am very sad that I don't think I can wait till Christmas. That is another reality I have had to deal with and face. This time of year means so much to me, I hate to do that to my girls, but I don't think there is any other way at this point.