I appreciate your support nm and awest. I have gone round and round in my head with what to tell people. It is funny b/c he so badly wants me not to tell- at least not who the affair is with- and he says to me "you have so much power in this". What is sad is I don't view it that way at all. I have no power in this, either way, whether I tell or not, I am affected. And I still lose everything- my house, time with my son, my husband, some family, some friends, etc. He has all the power here. He can end the affair, save his reputation (since people don't really know yet) work on his marriage, etc., etc., etc.
I don't know what I will do. At this point, I don't think my decision is based on wanting to save my marriage or not save my marriage. It really isn't about hurting him or revenge either. It will be about what decision is going to be the easiest for me to live with. One one hand i am so sick of all of the lies that surround me right now, and I am just dying to have it all out there and end this crazy cycle of lying he has pulled me into. I feel like I am walking around in a haze all of the time- on created by gaslighting! On the otherhand, I don't want to provide fuel for the gossip. Simply saying that we chose to separate rather than why maybe will shorten its shelf life as a topic of conversation! It has been so great hearing both of your perspectives since you both handled it in different ways. I really don't want him to get fired, so I am glad you guys both kind of think that he wouldn't. Now her on the other hand...... He does have more seniority. I guess that works in my favor.
