I'm here,GW. I started several times yesterday to post,then I would delete it. I take what I say to people very serious b/c these are lives we are dealing with on the board, so I sure don't want to lead you wrong. I know I encouraged you to stick it out until Christmas for the sake of the kids. But, now things have taken a servere turn in the road. If it were me, when I was thick into the mindset of a WAW in an EA....then this is what my H would need to do. I would need to be shocked out of my socks. I would needd to be shocked, and to be scared of what I was about to lose.

What does she fear losing the most? Is it the girls? If so, then how could you protect the girls and at the same time, hand your W's belongings to her in a trash sack?

If I get banned for saying this, then so be it. The only reason I was suggesting you wait it out--was for the kids, but I think you are spot on about her using the MC as her exit ticket. What would completely shock her senseless? I believe it would be for her calm,gentle H to give her her personal belongings in a bag, and tell her that you do not want to be M to anyone who would dishonor their M with lies and A's. You deserve better, and she needs to be told. GW, I am M to a man very much like you, and I'm telling you that we "will" take advantage of that kindness. I think she's proven that fact.

She needs to feel dumped by you. I think it should be done quickly. No talks or anything. You don't have to tell her what you know. Remember what Puppy use to say. "We both know you are lying". All you need to do is give her a stern look. You need to be very firm. I have this picture of you standing in the door handing her a bag with her clothes and then shutting the door while she's standing there speechless. I'm sure this will seem much to harsh for the mods, but that's how "this" WAW would need to be hit with cold reality.

She thinks that she is sacrificing to hang in until Christmas, and that's why I fully believe you need to make your move beforehand. I don't even know what to tell you about the children.

The most important thing,before you make any moves, is to have things planned out about the girls. Depending on when they are out for the holidays, etc., but many parents kidnapp their children when D is near. Be careful. The school would have to let her pick them up b/c she's their legal parent/guardian. Just wanted to alert you about that in case you chose to act while they were in school. I know it must be so hard to think of everything.

I don't know the laws there concerning child custody, etc., but if she could be concerned.....then she needs to be. That's what I think the WAW needs when in an EA and is ready to leave.

You have a big decision to make. We are here and will give you support whatever you do.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!