I agree that his reaction last night was fear driven. Nobody wants to sit in a room of 3 people to discuss their problem, it is uncomfortable to say the least. Super hard to do... I don't know if I would ask him what he 'fears' as this may evoke more defensive postures on his part. I think I would read power-packaging to figure out the best way to approach this.

Please make sure you are very clear with him that the state of your sex life is not something you can continue to live with. You love him but you can not live like this... blah, blah, plenty of examples around here spoken more eloquently. Just make sure he knows how serious you are about this. Give him a chance to fix it if you are unsure what you want. You don't want any regrets.

(Formerly blgp)
Me-35
H-33
Married 4 yrs
Together 9 yrs
"Bomb" 8/1/10
Separated 8/6/10
D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."