Thanks for this post! Again, I find strength in someone else's thresd. I do believe my H wants me to be the bad guy and to finally give up because he is basically a good man who is having trouble reconciling his actions with all that we both have believed about the institution of Marriage and Family. But, I need to keep that in mind and remember to leave it in God's hands.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I am reading "Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. He pretty much says the same thing about letting them go, or in his words, "opening up the cage".
I hope and pray W doesn't go on her trip to see OM, but I get a sense that if she doesn't get a face to face with her teenage beau she'll remain feeling trapped with me. Maybe she has to get the A out of her fantasy realm and in the cold reality for her to find her conscience. I hope when she comes to the brink, she will take a step back. I don't know, but whatever happens, I am ready for her to be gone.
I cannot forcibly stop her, and coersion, and threats of exposure etc just pushes her further away.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
There's someone who did the same thing and was able to get their marriage together. It was nursehusband I think was the poster's name. Do a search for it and see if his story comes up.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I ran a search with that keyword, but did not get anywhere.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Thanks, I read a lot of that thread. Similar sitch: young kids at home to think about. OM makes WAW feel "special".
I gotta think about the consequences of planned trip. I will inform her that I see it as disrespect. Might just leave it at that and let her stew about it while she's gone guessing what I might do.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Thanks, I read a lot of that thread. Similar sitch: young kids at home to think about. OM makes WAW feel "special".
I gotta think about the consequences of planned trip. I will inform her that I see it as disrespect. Might just leave it at that and let her stew about it while she's gone guessing what I might do.
My guess is, nothing. I don't think she takes you seriously at all.
OW makes H feel special, upbeat. And thats why its hard to stay away. Its an addiciton.
I have bad news, my H broke NC with OW today on the pretext of work/logistical issue. I had the feeling he couldn't stand it anymore and was doing the "blame" thing again on me to justify. When that comes up, I know its a huge step back.
I feel all the more like giving up! But I won't be the bad guy. Repeat that like a matra..... I will read the thread you di.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Sorry to hear about your setback Angel. Don't be too upset over it. You're gonna have these. Think about it. The two of you don't decide to get back together and then eveything's great. Expect more tests and trials. Keep following the DR book
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Been getting some silent treatment all this week. Not blatant, just little or no convo. Almost feels like, she's sick of H being nice. I sense another "talk" around the corner.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
