Okay, maybe I asked the question wrong. I find myself trying/wanting to be nice to my H. And understanding and considerate and affirming. But sometimes I do get mad, say things to him about the way I see things, not in a bad way. Just state them and say these are my feelings and I can't help it.
Even though I'm not supposed to be talking R, talking about OW and his R, but they are my feelings and I should be able to share them.
The way that H is acting towards me now and treating me is pretty much the way he's been treating me for the last five years. He admitted that he was mean to his first two wive's and admitted that he was mean to me too, just last week. So he is mean and has been mean. H knows how he his, so it's hard to be nice to H sometimes. Hard to not get mad. Every sitch is different, but really if he was a freind of mine, I don't think we'd be friends for long.
Or maybe we would, except we'd have long periods of time of not seeing talking to each other.
T2 I like your style and I think some of my style is like yours. The other thing is I don't like wimpy men, or nicey/nice men either. I like a man's man and that type of man is my H. But I think he could soften just a little and he'd still be able to hold that man's man style.
