The different path... Continued

[Mystik]

I am currently in an intensive outpatient program to learn coping skills for my diagnoses of severe clinical depression, situational depression and dysthymia. The only people who know I am in this program are you guys and gals here on the boards and my sister. I have not told anyone else, it feels embarassing to me that my H leaving me sent me into such a deep depression I need medical intervention. Women are left behind every day and they don't need medical invervention, but apparently I'm not as strong as them.

Something I'm really struggling with is acceptnce of the situation. I know that accepting and approving are two different things, but my emotional mind has them connected so to accept means I approve, and to drop the rope means I am giving up all hope of H ever returning.

I filed papers in November to get the money H owes me for car insurance, daycare and out of pocket medical expenses in the sum or $1,600 awarded to me. I also requested to change the visitation schedule to what we currently have in place instead of what was in place two years ago, and to also have the daycare included with child support so I would pay the daycare on behalf of H since he is very lax about paying them on time. Got the papers last Thursday, that same day H called to say he wanted to take care of the matter of how much he owes me and could I please provide receipts since there is a disagreement on how much he owes me. He claims it is much lower than I have calculated, and I did use my bank statements and receipts from the doctors/insurance agent/daycare to compute the balance due.

So that's pretty much where I'm at. In therapy, a nervous mess about the court date and still hoping H wakes up from his fog and returns to me.