Madonna/Whore Part 8 (aka Attachment Therory)

[Heywyre]

Thanks for your comments Oldtimer

First of all - you are right. H has really done nothing to show he is committed to making the changes necessary to make this R work. There are lots of promises IF I come back but I need to see something upfront WAY BEFORE I would even consider the idea and even then, I don't see it being possible. There has just been too much hurt over the past 10 years in particular to ever be able to trust him totally again.

Secondly - my friend is giving me all the space I need to make whatever decisions I feel are right for me (regardless of his opinion - which he will NOT give me) - he is refraining from making any comments that would deem to biased - which I respect tremendously.

I don't feel there is confusion per se in my mind. It would be more of a grieving I am experiencing. After all, I have gone through hell and back and still wanted to work things out after many many years and lots of hurt and pain. When that wasn't forthcoming, I left. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and my life hasn't been easy at the best of times.

I know H wants to reconcile but I truly don't see any chance of reconciliation that would be healthy for either of us. I can't say I don't care for the man, and I don't wish him any harm. I hope he is happy and can find someone that understands him better than I did (which, quite frankly, I don't see happening because he has some psychological issues that need addressing and he is (1) unwilling to even admit he has any and (2) is also unwilling to even make an effort to try and figure out where we went wrong)

We have tried 4 different counsellors and he still thinks he knows more than they do - so what's the point

This is not about reconciling - it is about trying to move forward in my life