I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned ..

[cat04]

Pei,
I am glad to see you taking a chance and filling in holes.

Yes even the tears are a sign of strength. You have to feel the emotions in order to process them.

I have questions, challenges if you will. They will come in time.

Tamf,

I agree with PEI. Stop. If you KNOW you aren’t ready, if you KNOW why you are doing what you are doing, and validation is the reason…

STOP. You won’t be the only one hurt. The OP will be hurt and so will your H if he finds out. It will complicate any future decisions that you will make about your M.

Irish,

You sound fantastic. When you are ready to not stand, you will not stand anymore. Until then, stay on your path. It is serving you well.

Zen,

Move forward, not ON. Think of it that way.

Deadlines, don’t really serve us well in this process. Things happen, when it is time for them to happen.


DB is a site we come to, with the intention and desire to save our marriages. Reality of the world says that a lot of marriages do NOT get saved. Standing, is about getting to the point that you can live your life, regardless of the outcome of your M or any R status.

I know there are statistics out there, that people who are married are healthier and happier, blah, blah, blah…

Statistics, can be manipulated.

A good and healthy marriage or relationship I am sure makes for happier healthier people. However a sick marriage or relationship, I would bet has the opposite effect. Relationships are/get sick, because the people within them have not learned the skills for a good relationship yet.

Those skills, you can learn here and in other places like this.

Use them.

Give them time to work and become a part of your life. Once they do, you will be surprised what you find…

That is something that I can promise you.

Keep posting, challenging, and supporting. Each other and yourselves.

This is a journey that is long, hard, and often very painful. It is one that is very very worth it though.

Cat