Thanks Bill. Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends. I have my children today, so, being the first divorce year, I am grateful for this.
Twas the Night of Thanksgiving But I just couldn't sleep I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned - The dark meat and white But I fought the temptation With all of my might
Tossing and turning With anticipation The thought of a snack Became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, Flung open the door And gazed at the fridge, Full of goodies galore.
Gobbled up turkey And buttered potatoes, Pickles and carrots, Beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling So plump and so round, 'Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, Floating into the sky With a mouthful of pudding And a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell As i soared past the trees.... Happy eating to all - Pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty, May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes 'n gravy Have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious May your pies take the prize, May your thanksgiving dinner Stay off of your thighs.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Thanks Frank and DF. I had them for 5 days and slept over too. You were all right. I think her dating is more important at times.
It's still rough. Although my son loves my X, he didn't want to leave me tonite. "Divorce stinks dad. I wish you were still with mommy."
Darn straight S10. Divorce sucks all the way around. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
The time is approaching. My time in my house is now coming to an end. Boxes everywhere.
I remember the first night waking up in our new house with ex next to me. I remember opening my eyes and looking out the windows and seeing: blue skies and GREEN. The tops of the pine trees were so green. I could reach out and touch them. The sky was SO blue. It is burnt into my mind.
I was at peace and in love. That is ended now.
I can't believe how much stuff accumulates over time. I'm tossing as much as I can. Today, I came a cross a DVD that I burned for X. On the outside: "Neil Diamond, for my wife". I tossed the CD into the last box of her possessions that I will leave in her backyard. It's hers for her to dispose of.
Like most here have predicted, I have been fortunate to have more time with my kids. This weekend was hers and I had them for the day yesterday while she worked and for 2 hours this morning while she did a wedding. The extra time makes life more livable.
My closing is on the 16th and the movers are coming on the 14th. Sadly, I may end up having to write a check to make up the difference for a shortfall. X walks away with about 40-$50K. Such is life.
And so, I guess, a conclusion of sorts finally arrives. It's been 3 years since I filed for divorce. X wife ran out of gas today for the second time. She walked over to the house and left the kids while she walked back to her car. Yeah...I gave her a gas can. I won't need it now (no lawn to cut). Where is Cadillac Man??
Strength and honor. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Congratulations on selling the house. Mine will have an inspection on Saturday and I'll hopefully out in February.
And it's fantastic that you found such a great place out of walking distance from where your former spouse runs out of gas. That is great planning on your part. And it's beyond weird that someone runs out of gas so frequently.
I'd suggest that next time you come across something that is hers, reminds you of her, toss it. Drop that emotional connection. It's like showing her a major booboo which she doesn't and won't care about when you put in a box for her to take care of.
The end result of a divorce is more about taking care of the kids than nursing the hurt. Grieving is a good thing. Wallowing not so good.
All I know after reading your threads is that you're a very good guy, intelligent and nurturing and excellent in your profession. And a great father... a gift beyond compare.
To paraphrase Bill Clinton immortalized axiom, "it's the now, stupid". Something for me to remember, too.
Moving is a major change - it is sure to stir up memories. But, it will also provide you with a new setting to make new memories. So glad to hear that you are getting the kids more often, and they will be there with you to help create the next chapter in your life. I try to prioritize most of my "have to's" for the days my kids are away (with a few just-for-me's...) and then we all get more time for the fun stuff when we are together.
Gypsy, I agree. I'm going to back thru that last box that I am going to leave her and pull all that 'to my wife' cards, DVDs, etc, that I put in there and toss them in the trash. Totally agree.
Today, cleaning up, I found a small piece of paper that X and I 'signed' as a contract after a big fight we had many years ago. The paper is scribbled:
-no threats (divorce/leaving) -X stays in control -no throwing -no discussing x's -focus on the argument -no discussing the past -no evil
X and I both signed it as a pact but as you can see, years before 2007, X wife had issues which I 'overlooked'. Old stuff but final stuff.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Yowzer! You were definitely keeping your head in the sand back then, FIB. I guess we all do it. I look back over my 27 year history with my ex, and even though most of those years were great - I realize now how hard I must have worked to NOT see how bad his issues were. And they were always there, from the beginning!!!
