I think you are right; there are many of us who were hurt by seeing people only with our heart. We looked past their faults to see the good in them. I think there is something right in seeing someone this way though. Maybe the trick going forward will be to see with both heart and eyes.
I was able to get a little sleep after getting everything out in my post. This is not an easy place to be, but it feels good to be coming to terms with these things. It feels honest, almost cleansing.
H sent me a text last night after I was asleep. Just telling me D was still up coughing and he was waiting for the Benadryl he had given her earlier to wear off before trying the cough suppressant. Earlier, at her goodnight call, he also helped D tell me about getting to roast marshmallows in her grandparent’s fireplace.
It is more contact than before I started to detach, but I think these are just more of my H’s timid attempts to connect. I think he just wants to see if I’m there. Not long ago I would have gotten my hopes up and reached out to him. Right now I just appreciate the information about my girl when she is away and share in my daughter’s joys. I stay polite and friendly, but that is all I have for him now.
