Still Moving Forward

[BeingMe]

I am letting go. I have no expectations at all. I doubt he will "wake up" Mila. I don't care what he does. I don't expect him to do anything. That has been his usual MO, and I can't see him changing. It's always me that has to change. Never him.

I will continue with the legal separation, and eventual divorce.

If he wants to make an effort, then he will have to really pound that ball over the net, and I will have to really notice in a way that I have no doubt about his intentions, because I will be turned away. It will have to hit my back.

I have decided the ML a couple of weeks ago was just s*x (he had been sleeping in the spare room until friends of ours came to visit), and it will have to stop. He will have to move into the spare room again. I will be leaving for Europe mid-Jan anyway, for 2 months, so he will have a lot of space and time to reflect, if that is what he wants. The trip to my D30 will be good for me, I think. After my return, we will be selling our house, and I will buy something smaller, while he will continue travelling for business, bouncing from country to country (as far as he has told me, but I suspect he will move to the mainland and find an apartment).

I have done all I can do, and more. He says he has tried, and I have told him I did not see it. So, he obviously didn't try hard enough or in a way that I would see.

I am done trying. I am dropping the rope ... again. ~ Sigh~ He will have to pick it up this time. Or not. His decision.

Thanks everyone for your input.

(In the meantime, he has been friendly, contacts me everyday. Nothing exciting. He has not responded to that email I sent. I will not read anything into it.)