Pondering,
its great to hear from you.
I just wish things were going better for you.
detaching dosnt mean you cant intervene for your child I dont think. we have to take care of our children thats what moms do its not codependent in this situation Its the keeping it from hurting us part we have to detach from and thats too much to ask when we feel someone is hurting our children.

Have you seen a counselor or taken your child for family counseling?
Perhaps you can talk to your H about family counseling for the childs sake being there seems to be some behaviors possibly indicating this D affecting the child.

I know I had a great link for a site about kids I am looking for it for you.
You know what I think I got it from Dr Harleys Newsletter. okay at the moment I cant find it darn it but I will post it somewhere for you when I find it.

Take care!
Sue