Need Insight II

[angel61]

PIckle, by coincidence I was just speaking to an old frined of me and H before I opened up the forum. She also is separated from her H, after years of suffering. her words for me though:
"I know your H, he is a responsible, caring and kind person. His pain now is because he cannot reconcile what he wants with what his nature is. He is hurting you because he wants it to come from you, because he needs to justify it, cannot be the one to turn his back on the family."
So it goes without saying that one day, when his feeling of being trapped, his MLC or whatever, and his feelings for OW subside, he will come back to what he was before.

As even my D11 says , "it will pass". Statistics show that most A's last only for 6 mos. My H's EA was exactly 6 mos - started late May, ended (I hope it holds) Nov. 26.

I think for you and me, we will just have to trust that we know our spouses best and that we are banking on their inner goodness to pull them through this crisis. Again, if it fails, at least it was not because of our actions.

Again, the end of an A does not mean all is well. Right now I am battling the strongest "I want to give up" feeling in my life - after the crisis, I feel so exhausted, I feel like the fight has gine from me. But more than ever, my friends are rallying behind me to keep it.

Hang in there! I hope to see your sitch progressing to beyond the A. Maybe you just have to give it the freedom to happen. As they say, if you love someone, let it go......

Just like you, I had lots of people telling me to set boundaries, ultimatums, etc. butI never did.

I do believe though that it was prayer that turned things around ultimately.