Just a question....could it be that I have no closure? Is that part of the reason I cant let go so easily? I have this overwhelming urge to want to get all of this out to my H of the whys, hows, etc. I dont know. Having time at work on my hands and when its quiet, I think way too much. My thoughts are my own worst enemy
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Unfortunately we don't get the kind of closure we want. We will never get the answers and explanations that we feel would help us put it rest.
IMO, this is part of "the work" that we must do ... learn to make peace with our sitchs from within. Learn to not need the closure from outside ourselves.
Yes, our thoughts can be our own worst enemy, but we control them kissak ... not the other way around. You can do this girl!
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Thank you PEI. Guess I just need to work on acceptance.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Time. You are not going to accomplish everything you want in a day. And yes, keep working ... acceptance, self love, forgiveness ... we're never done ...
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Why not in a day? Wouldnt that be nice? lol trying to be optimistic
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Well it always makes me feel good to hear someone doesnt put too much merrit in this new OW. Seems she works with my H or in the same building as him. Works with my neighbor as a matter of fact.
Oh well....sad that my H is gonna let me get away because he cant be a faithful man. His loss.
Headed home to take care of my kiddos!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Im beginning to think that my H was never in MLC. Maybe he is just a "pig"! Maybe he has been all along and I was just to foolish to see it.
So, even if he has a OW right now or even just dating, he still makes sexual induindos (sp) to me. Guess he is just feeling me out to see if I would do anything with him again. I completely ignored is actions last night.
He picked up the kids last night. That is after I asked him to please think about getting them once a week, that going 2 weeks without seeing them werent right. SO he got them last night for 3 hours. The last thing I said to him before he left was to make sure our D did her homework, it was something he would be able to help her with better than me and she had been doing poorly in this class and not completing her work...sooo, 3 hours later he brings her home, fussing at her for not REMEMBERING that SHE had homework! SO NONE of it got done, therefore she stayed up way too late working on it. Ok, she is adhd and sometimes we have to remind her to focus....what happened, the went and got supper, went back to his place while they all ate, watched tv, and he sat and texted the entire time on his phone. This is what my children told me. THen when he drops them off he said he was in a hurry because HE forgot to go and do some work that he does parttime. Seems whoever he is dating or whatever, is completely toxic to him, or addicted or something that he cant remember things he needs to do.
He knew I was annoyed with him over this, he texted me when he left several times that he was sorry, but they were begging for supper then arguing (welcome to my fulltime job) and he forgot. Then he said he would do better, he promised. I didnt answer any of them, because what I wanted to say would come out....but then he called. I told him that it was irresponsible to do nothing but text, while he should have been being a parent!! UGH~ told him thank you for sayin he would do better next time, I just said ok, thank you, then told him I was done with the conversation because I didnt want to argue.
Am I dealing with another child or a grown up? SOmeone remind me please because I have forgotten.....
Will he ever grow up and be a man?
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
OH ((((Kissak)))), how frustrating to deal with your H.....we must remember that we can't control their behavior, not even when they are with their children....it will only upset you but it will not change anything....your H really needs to grow up...will he? that's another question. Maybe in the future you need to make sure that the homework is done before the kids go with their dad....if possible.
You are wise not to let him manipulate you into "intimacy" at this stage....seems like he is just continuing his behavioral pattern, with no effort to change or even see how he's been hurting you and his family...why would you want to be intimate with him under those circumstances....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Thanks Mila...but with him its not about intimacy. Its just sex and he knows how to manipulate so well.
I usually would have made her do her homework, but this was on medical terms and he knows about all that stuff and I have no clue about it, that is what I told him and he agreed to help her....how could he forget??? Ugh~ I have a feeling if he hasnt grown up by now, he probably never will. He will be old and alone one day, because Im not sure there is another woman that would put up with him....Since I was always curious if he was cheating, Im sure any other woman would see that too after awhile with him....
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Your ml'er does not have the capacity to have a healthy relationship at this time. This OW will not be any different. MLC is a regression, they leave all their responsibilities behind, they rebel, push buttons and project. NO MATTER WHAT WE DO OR SAY. Let him be someone elses problem now.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
