GW, I totally agree with OT: the more they realize that the OP is NOT the solution to their problems, the more desperately they struggle to "prove" that they love, need, etc, this person. My H certainly did that more and more at the dying throes of their R. It was a last-ditch attempt to avoid the misery of withdrawal and beginning to come to terms with what he'd done.
I think it's extremely positive that your W realizes she needs counselling. However, it seems to me that you're not yet at the detached place you need to be to be able to rebuild your M. Keep working on becoming that confident person who can deal with whatever life throws him, who is secure in himself. No matter what happens with your M, you and your children can only benefit from your becoming the sort of man you most admire.
