Moving to the next phase of what?

[cagzmom]

Good weird weekend.
Lots going through this head of mine and really really glad I see my counselor this weekend!!

Feelings for new guy are real but i know how much he really needs a friend. I am physically attracted to him - and really just like him. BUT I can't have him... not now. Maybe later I don't know.

In my own head I am going backwards... TOTAL friend mode. TOTAL. I can/should date (I guess though I don't want to seek it) and I need to continue on this journey for myself. I am strong now - so much stronger. I love not being codependent and needing to have someone tell me that I have any worth. It is so strange but so wonderful.

New friend has his kids this week and I think it is probably good... a step back to regroup for me. We match in many ways -- It is strange.

It is also amazing being able to make a male friend who is going through what I went through. He is so much further ahead then I was at the same time. But his heart his so torn. Oh how i remember that. The emptiness - the lack of any feeling... just yuck.

Now me? I am living again. So much to learn about me..
hmm wonder what the next year will be like