Having just lost my mom and feeling the extra hit of 3 very important holidays right afterward, I understand what you are feeling. I'm so sorry this is hitting you so hard. You need time to mourn and heal. Stop putting pressure on yourself to 'get over it'. It's not that easy. There are major consequences of just 'getting over it' without processing the sadness and loss. Trust me, I know. I didn't take the time I should have to mourn after my dad died and I just went on with my busy life at the time and only in the last year did I actually process it. 20+ years later! That was even more painful than it would have been then.
It's so hard to limit your daily mourning time, but you will need to do that for yourself and your family. Honestly, set aside an hour out of your day to be by yourself, take a walk, look through photo albums and hold those memories dear. Death is sad but, depending on what you believe, it is NOT the end. It's a next step into eternity. Your dad wouldn't want you to stay sad, but be sad for the moment and be happy that he his not in any pain any longer. When you see your watering system, think of his loving hands building it for you. Think of his hugs, his eyes, his smiles for you. Those will bring you comfort.
I don't know if this is the case for you, but I have had the image of my mom in death burned into my brain. I have been trying to replace that image with only one of her smiling and happy. Just like those famous stop signs we all learned to throw up in our DB minds, do the same. Put pictures in your mind of your dad in his best days. It will bring you comfort and happiness.
Maria, sweetheart, my own heart aches for you and I pray for you and your family daily. Be well, be strong, but most of all, BE YOU!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
