we text-ed peacefully today about her putting up the Christmas tree and some other simple things. I apologized about confronting her and hammering her about a possible ea/pa and left it at that. I believe this to be a big step due to her saying last time she was getting out asap. She may still divorce me but least we arnt fighting.
Do you have the mind-set that you deserve anything negative from your W due to the fact you had an A previously? I hope you can get past that, if you do. Those type of thoughts prevent us from being our best. If you subconsciouly think you "deserve" to be D.
Your family derseves a father & husband. They deserve a leader they can trust to take care of them. They need to see this in your attitudes and actions. Make this time of year work for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
sandi2 now i don't think i deserve to have my family and wife taken from me cause of my affair; however i do believe my wife deserves to be happy with or without me. hardest thing to accept is that i caused most of these problems and have finally realized what she and my children mean to me. Just hope its not to late i have backed way off her and the interaction we do have i make sure are pleasant with no arguing. Just hope its not to late hard to keep hope right now but im trying.
Sounds like you have a long way to go to address the issues she detailed in the list of changes.
In your posts, there is alot of control and anger issues. Calling another woman a sl@t, etc. doesn't exactly show someone who is compassionate and non-controlling.
I disagree with your assessment that you don't deserve to have your family taken away from you because of your A. In fact, you had two, so it's one of those things where you did the crime so you should accept the consequences.
It sounds like at the time you maybe didn't show remorse at what you did. You might have felt regret but not true remorse. The controlling issue would explain your jealous streaks. I'm sorry if I missed it, but how long have you been going to C for your issues?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
and i really dont think this is about the affair. its more about the list of changes i posted. also she said i have to much to change and she would be crazy to take me back and later said she isnt taking me back
