Ahhh...thanks to you both. I'm so confused. The funny thing is the first time I came to this website it was to save my first marriage where I was the low desire spouse. It was too late for me to save that marriage, but a lot of counseling helped me realize what my issues were and I got passed them...and in a major way. I feel like I cheated myself out of years of wonderful sex from my first husband that did EVERYTHING he could to please me only to get into a new relationship where I really wanted to make sure I had a healthy and fulfilling sex life (you know the been there...made that mistake and won't do it again mindset) only to find out I have a husband that would truly rather masturbate than be with me. I feel like I'm being punished for what I did to my ex and now know how awful my rejection and disinterest made him feel. I'm also starting to revert back to the way I was before all my counseling. I have awful feelings of self doubt, feel unattractive and my body issues are back with a vengeance.
The situation you both describe sounds very similar to how I was with my first husband. My current situation is much more "strange" in my opinion. Although our sex is not as frequent as I like, he does make an effort to have sex, but when I tell you he does nothing to please me...I mean nothing! He doesn't kiss me or touch me at all. Manual stimulation is about as frequent as every 10 times we have sex and oral sex is completely out of the question, although he enjoys me doing all this for him. I rarely reach climax (maybe 5 times in the last year) and he could care less. This is where I wonder if he's gay or not. Have you ever heard of a man not wanting to touch a woman's breats and privates?????? I haven't and I feel so dirty and disgusting because of this. I feel as if I'm a prostitute providing a service to him and that I could be anyone on the earth...it doesn't mean anything to him that I'm his wife and want nothing more than for him to love me and want to please me.
I am so ANGRY I cannot take it anymore and I spend most of my time trying to figure a way out of this relationship!!!!
